Well, that was not at all pleasant. No Sirree.
But it's over.
Can see exactly what Jon meant about Nevill Hall (it's where he produced his first sperm sample). The place is ugly, in need of a lick of paint, dark, claustrophobic, cluttered, mazelike.
I took in my urine sample, as requested, and was led from Jon and the waiting room to a tiled cubicle like those we used to change in as primary school swimmers. They gave me two gowns, and being ignorant I just put them on top of each other. (Apparently, the idea is you put one back to front so both sides of you are covered. But I managed to be modest even in the error of my ways.)
Then I took my little bag of clothes and my little body into this seemingly huge room, filled with monstrous apparatus and three women. Somehow, I had envisaged something smaller and neater. I was asked to lie on the bed, below a panel.
The oldest of the three women put a thing in me. Excuse the technical language. And then for what seemed like an eternity, one of the others tried to move me (remotely, via machines) and the x-ray machine into the optimum position. RRR. Not quite right. RRRR. No, not there. RRR up a bit. RRRR no you've taken her down. Etc.
[Excuse me but I have a massive thing stuck into my vagina and I'm wondering how long this is likely to take.... if she's a trainee, can someone just take over?]
So, we got there. And then they put a thin wire up into the thing that's in me.
The older lady explained that the wire hasn't really gone in properly, but she's going to try and inject the dye into my fallopian tubes anyway because the alternatives are very unpleasant. Great.
Praise the Lord, the dye got in. It was very uncomfortable, but also brief. A bit like a sudden onset of extreme period pain. One of the other younger women stood at my head comforting me, which was actually quite nice.
And then it was over. And the old lady asked me if I'm okay. And I said yes. And she asked if I can sit up. And I said yes. And she showed me the x-ray, which clearly demonstrates that the dye goes all the way along the tubes - ie all is well.
She also said that I have an anteverted womb. (Tipped forward, in other words). That is why it was difficult to get the wire in. But this is not seen as a problem in terms of fertility. I wonder if it is an increased obstacle to already dysfunctional sperm..... but just want to get out of there by now.
Bit shaky, out I went to Jon. Explained to him that he had to look after me for the rest of the day. This is not one of his strong points but never mind!
